http://gulfnews.com/opinions/columnists/celebrate-the-old-while-embracing-the-new-1.971760
By Ghada Al Atrash, Special to Gulf NewsPublished: 00:00 January 27, 2012
As an Arab raised in the US, the question of identity played an important role in my formation as an individual. My parents' relentless struggle was to make certain that their culture and beliefs were part of my makeup and identity in a foreign western society.
The West ignited a deep fear in their hearts. Their concern lied in the uncertainty of what could become of their children who neither fully shared their old beliefs nor were completely a part of the new culture, but were part of a third culture, an amalgam of the old and the new, one that could perhaps be thought of as a hybrid product engendered by the fusion of the different cultures.
However, it is often the case that this hybrid product is frowned upon by immigrants, regardless of nationality or background, as it insinuates the denial of traditions of their pasts to continue. Indeed, there are certainly legitimate reasons for immigrant parents to shrink away from the new culture, the Other that threatens to envelope them.
And, as they begin to realise that they are in danger of losing their old identity, many react by becoming uncompromisingly determined to preserve and renew old traditions and customs, and rigidly demand of their children to embrace convictions and practices of a past they themselves have left behind in their homelands.
Such reactions also leave negative impressions on the natives of the host country, where they are often misinterpreted as disrespectful to a local culture and as looking down on its ways of life, consequently yielding tension and misunderstanding on both sides.Certainly, all parents, immigrant or non-immigrant, naturally long to instill their views and family traditions in their children. But when it comes to immigrants especially, this effort is acted upon on a conscientious level and at times with a vigorous approach — a much more complicated task as the once familiar convictions and traditions are nowhere to be found in the new surroundings.
Yet, the reality of the matter is that evolution and change are destined to happen regardless of how much we resist them — so, the question is then, why resist them? Why not accept and celebrate the new evolved product as refined and reformed?
Resisting change
Our effort as parents to recreate and forcefully impose the past in the present is a hopelessly failed effort. Moreover, resisting change might lead to negative and reverse reactions on our children's part. We must come to terms with the fact that home to our children is belonging and familiarity.
It is not the abstract cultures of our pasts that once existed in a world very far away from their own, narrated through stories and tales, but is rather the tangible, concrete and multicultural reality in which we live at present. Our children's identity is one that agrees with their today, not with our yesterday.
Why not look at the hybrid product, the fusion between the different cultures, as something beautiful, as a rich blend of cultures, taking the best from both worlds? Why can't we perceive it as a continuation of the mutual development of the old and the new, as cultural diversity that preserves the pre-given cultural components acquired from one's past and intermixes those components with present ones yielding a collective identity in a multicultural humanity?
The message here is not to imply the shedding of the past or the denial of its continuation. On the contrary, we should teach our children to take pride in their heritage and encourage them to celebrate their history — to bring their unique, original ingredients into the new mix of cultures.
Indeed, we should advance the continuation of traditions but, at the same time, while partaking in the building of bridges that can connect our own cultures with the universal human culture in which we exist today, a mosaic that celebrates the old while embracing the new.
An excerpt from Khalil Gibran's The Prophet sums up my thoughts. Without reference to a specific nationality or identity but to humanity in general, Gibran writes: ‘Your children are not your children / They come through you but not from you / And though they are with you yet they belong not to you / You may give them your love but not your thoughts / For they have their own thoughts / You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you / For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday'.
So, let us make a genuine effort to understand our children's new identities, and let us savour the myriad of rich flavours that come with the multicoloured global humanity in which we exist today.
Ghada Al Atrash holds a Master's degree in English.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Friday, December 23, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
On the Deficiency of Love in Politics
http://gulfnews.com/opinions/columnists/on-the-deficiency-of-love-in-politics-1.951817
Socrates once wrote, “One word frees us / of all the weight and pain in life / that word is Love.”
Ever since the beginning of the beginning love existed, and despite all other efforts to break it down, it has insisted on finding its way into the callous hearts of some people just as grass can find its way in between arid rocks.
Yet there are places in which it is seems extremely difficult for love to grow, and the most infertile of all happens to be in political fields and specifically in the hearts of politicians. For not only do the hearts of most politicians seem to be devoid of love, but they also happen to be blinded by downright self-interest and utter imprudence about the rest of us in humanity.
If we were to step away from the desiccated political fields, it becomes easy to stumble across love in every corner of our world. For love comes in all forms and shapes and has made the hearts of people its dwelling place!
Take a mother’s heart for example, a place that happens to be an endless spring of love tirelessly and eternally streaming devotion, compassion and forgiveness.
And how delightful is the love that comes in a romantic setting and flourishes in the hearts of two who are “in love”— the sort of love that led to the death of Romeo and Juliet and to the insanity of Qais, Majnun Leila.
It is the kind of love that was written about by Syrian poet Nizar Qabbani, a love illustrated “on the walls of caves / and on potteries and clay vessels long ago / and ...engraved on the ivory of elephants in India / and on papyrus in Egypt / and on rice grains in China.”
There is also the patriotic love for one’s country and homeland — a love that has its roots entrenched across the lands regardless of the countless human made borders that have divided our world’s map, a love that is pronounced in every national anthem and embodied in the colours of our flags.
Yet, time after time and throughout history, one can easily note that the higher world leaders climbs their political ladders, the more love they have to shed on the way, as if the weight of love hinders their rise in politics. And later, what is shed of love is gradually transformed into tears shed by humans.
As Che Guevara put it, “Cruel leaders are replaced only to have new leaders turn cruel.” Why is it that such phenomenon insists on repeating itself? And with whom can humanity entrust its hopes when few are the ones who have proven to be worthy?
Will there ever come another Mahatma Gandhi who can act upon the concept of love and reject violence and killing, someone who can truly act as the “change” that he wants to see happen in the world? Gandhi insisted that we “must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” But one asks, how can we not lose faith in our leaders in the midst of today’s depressingly grim political reality?
Of the multitude of passages that have been written on love, one especially comes to mind: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” The Bible 1st Corinthians.
If only it were possible to clone some of the materials that make the emotion of love and implant it in the hearts of those who run our world, for it seems as if their hearts have become hollow cavities with a very noticeable deficiency of love.
The Dali Lama said “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.”
Martin Luther King, Jr. declared, “At the centre of non-violence stands the principle of love.” And Buddha preached, “Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.”
One wonders why such quotes are not parts of our political ideology, and why they are rarely practised by our politicians!
So let it be said to every politician sitting on his/her throne, and to everyone whose decisions can alter the hopes and dreams of his/her people, and especially to those who are to become our future politicians, we plead in the name of love for you to help stop the killing and bloodshed, to stop the breaking of a mother’s heart, to stop the shattering of a bride’s dream, and to stop the tear shed by our children.
We beseech you to help release the world of the weight of pain and to retrieve a love that once existed in your hearts before you took on your positions of power! Unearth a love that undoubtedly is buried deep within, and allow it to play a part in your decisions, ones that could ultimately decide the course of history and prevent avertable wars of agony and destruction.
Ghada Al Atrash holds a Master’s degree in English.
Socrates once wrote, “One word frees us / of all the weight and pain in life / that word is Love.”
Ever since the beginning of the beginning love existed, and despite all other efforts to break it down, it has insisted on finding its way into the callous hearts of some people just as grass can find its way in between arid rocks.
Yet there are places in which it is seems extremely difficult for love to grow, and the most infertile of all happens to be in political fields and specifically in the hearts of politicians. For not only do the hearts of most politicians seem to be devoid of love, but they also happen to be blinded by downright self-interest and utter imprudence about the rest of us in humanity.
If we were to step away from the desiccated political fields, it becomes easy to stumble across love in every corner of our world. For love comes in all forms and shapes and has made the hearts of people its dwelling place!
Take a mother’s heart for example, a place that happens to be an endless spring of love tirelessly and eternally streaming devotion, compassion and forgiveness.
And how delightful is the love that comes in a romantic setting and flourishes in the hearts of two who are “in love”— the sort of love that led to the death of Romeo and Juliet and to the insanity of Qais, Majnun Leila.
It is the kind of love that was written about by Syrian poet Nizar Qabbani, a love illustrated “on the walls of caves / and on potteries and clay vessels long ago / and ...engraved on the ivory of elephants in India / and on papyrus in Egypt / and on rice grains in China.”
There is also the patriotic love for one’s country and homeland — a love that has its roots entrenched across the lands regardless of the countless human made borders that have divided our world’s map, a love that is pronounced in every national anthem and embodied in the colours of our flags.
Yet, time after time and throughout history, one can easily note that the higher world leaders climbs their political ladders, the more love they have to shed on the way, as if the weight of love hinders their rise in politics. And later, what is shed of love is gradually transformed into tears shed by humans.
As Che Guevara put it, “Cruel leaders are replaced only to have new leaders turn cruel.” Why is it that such phenomenon insists on repeating itself? And with whom can humanity entrust its hopes when few are the ones who have proven to be worthy?
Will there ever come another Mahatma Gandhi who can act upon the concept of love and reject violence and killing, someone who can truly act as the “change” that he wants to see happen in the world? Gandhi insisted that we “must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” But one asks, how can we not lose faith in our leaders in the midst of today’s depressingly grim political reality?
Of the multitude of passages that have been written on love, one especially comes to mind: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” The Bible 1st Corinthians.
If only it were possible to clone some of the materials that make the emotion of love and implant it in the hearts of those who run our world, for it seems as if their hearts have become hollow cavities with a very noticeable deficiency of love.
The Dali Lama said “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.”
Martin Luther King, Jr. declared, “At the centre of non-violence stands the principle of love.” And Buddha preached, “Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.”
One wonders why such quotes are not parts of our political ideology, and why they are rarely practised by our politicians!
So let it be said to every politician sitting on his/her throne, and to everyone whose decisions can alter the hopes and dreams of his/her people, and especially to those who are to become our future politicians, we plead in the name of love for you to help stop the killing and bloodshed, to stop the breaking of a mother’s heart, to stop the shattering of a bride’s dream, and to stop the tear shed by our children.
We beseech you to help release the world of the weight of pain and to retrieve a love that once existed in your hearts before you took on your positions of power! Unearth a love that undoubtedly is buried deep within, and allow it to play a part in your decisions, ones that could ultimately decide the course of history and prevent avertable wars of agony and destruction.
Ghada Al Atrash holds a Master’s degree in English.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Let us learn to pause the 'Now' and breathe it in
By Ghada Al Atrash, Special to Gulf News
Published: 00:00 September 9, 2011
http://gulfnews.com/opinions/columnists/let-us-learn-to-pause-the-now-and-breathe-it-in-1.863298
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away — a powerful statement that has the potential to change the meaning of one's life, if only put into practice.
As humans, we are on a constant search for meaningfulness, for a sense of gratification and fulfilment. But it is often the case that our daily responsibilities, our routines, our drive to succeed, take over and deprive us from the simple enjoyment of the moment — a feeling that can only be attained when we stop and take in the ‘Now'.
However, this act requires a conscious effort on our part to train our minds to meditate and to reflect on the present, for we as humans seem to, more often than not, be living in the past or in the future while the ‘Now' simply slips through our fingers.
Eckhart Tolle, voted by the Watkins Review as number 1 in a list of ‘The 100 Most Spiritually Influential Living People', delves into the farthest ends of what he calls the ‘Now' and examines the power and the sense of fulfilment that dwells in its depths.
In his books The New Earth and The Power of Now, he teaches: "Realise deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life" — a very simple thought rarely contemplated in our chaotic daily lives. He adds, "What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time — past and future — the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is."
Simple pleasures
I believe it is of critical importance that we apply this powerful philosophy to our daily lives, and in practical ways. The future does not ever guarantee an extension of the ‘Now'. Let us learn to pause the ‘Now' and breathe it in. We can begin to do so at the simplest levels — by simply expressing our love to our mother, daughter, sister, wife, or friend as the opportunity is only certain in the ‘Now'. The truth is that life could only be lived to its fullest if we can learn to live in the present.
Indeed, a kiss on a child's cheek takes on an entirely different meaning when it is a pensive act instead of a passive habitual one, and it is ultimately bound to yield a much deeper sense of fulfilment for both parties involved.
Habit kills meaning! We must fight our human tendencies of turning our lives into habitual routines. For instance, food is something that we often take for granted; yet, if we can become aware of its precious presence in our lives and take a moment to reflect on this fact, then it becomes not only nourishment for the body but also for the soul. Moreover, it could become an act of enjoyment instead of a basic act of survival. This also applies to our health, to our children, to our family and friends, to our beloved, and the list carries on.
Many spiritual teachers and gurus have preached the significance of the Now and the importance of its application in our daily lives. This act is to be first carried out by becoming aware of the present moment.
Then, gradually, all that remains becomes to train oneself to continue living in the moment. With time, the formula becomes obvious — the more the Nows, the more sense of fulfilment in life. Of those who are most aware of the Now are the terminally ill who become alertly conscious of the importance of the present as each day could be their last. Their Now becomes exceedingly precious while the rest simply becomes trivial.
Uncertain future
Yet, an irony that must be taken into consideration here is that whether we are healthy or sick, the future is equally insecure and our tomorrows are never guaranteed — a most perplexing irony, indeed.
The art of meditation is one effective method of evoking the Now and inducing a state of consciousness of the present moment. It is with meditation that one is able to delve into the depths of her/his soul, and it is only at the depth that the ultimate sense of internal peace is attained. Tolle uses the lake as an example to better illustrate my point. He explains that when times are turbulent and storms approach, it is only the lake's surface that is affected by the external forces regardless of how vigorous they are, while the lake's bottom always remains calm and unperturbed.
In the same way, the closer one is to the depth of her/his beings, the less affected s/he is by external factors. And it is only by stillness, by physical and conscious awareness of the Now, that our depths are reached and a meaningful life is lived.
The saying "life is too short" happens to be a common thread that runs across all cultures. My father-in-law once paraphrased it in a most charming way when he quoted a few lines of an Arabic poem he once heard his mother reciting: Get up and dance ye girls and forget about sleep / for life is like the moon, and you'll never get your fill of it! So, let our focus be on the Now and savour life and dance our hearts out before it is too late!
Ghada Al Atrash holds a Master's degree in English.
Published: 00:00 September 9, 2011
http://gulfnews.com/opinions/columnists/let-us-learn-to-pause-the-now-and-breathe-it-in-1.863298
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away — a powerful statement that has the potential to change the meaning of one's life, if only put into practice.
As humans, we are on a constant search for meaningfulness, for a sense of gratification and fulfilment. But it is often the case that our daily responsibilities, our routines, our drive to succeed, take over and deprive us from the simple enjoyment of the moment — a feeling that can only be attained when we stop and take in the ‘Now'.
However, this act requires a conscious effort on our part to train our minds to meditate and to reflect on the present, for we as humans seem to, more often than not, be living in the past or in the future while the ‘Now' simply slips through our fingers.
Eckhart Tolle, voted by the Watkins Review as number 1 in a list of ‘The 100 Most Spiritually Influential Living People', delves into the farthest ends of what he calls the ‘Now' and examines the power and the sense of fulfilment that dwells in its depths.
In his books The New Earth and The Power of Now, he teaches: "Realise deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life" — a very simple thought rarely contemplated in our chaotic daily lives. He adds, "What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time — past and future — the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is."
Simple pleasures
I believe it is of critical importance that we apply this powerful philosophy to our daily lives, and in practical ways. The future does not ever guarantee an extension of the ‘Now'. Let us learn to pause the ‘Now' and breathe it in. We can begin to do so at the simplest levels — by simply expressing our love to our mother, daughter, sister, wife, or friend as the opportunity is only certain in the ‘Now'. The truth is that life could only be lived to its fullest if we can learn to live in the present.
Indeed, a kiss on a child's cheek takes on an entirely different meaning when it is a pensive act instead of a passive habitual one, and it is ultimately bound to yield a much deeper sense of fulfilment for both parties involved.
Habit kills meaning! We must fight our human tendencies of turning our lives into habitual routines. For instance, food is something that we often take for granted; yet, if we can become aware of its precious presence in our lives and take a moment to reflect on this fact, then it becomes not only nourishment for the body but also for the soul. Moreover, it could become an act of enjoyment instead of a basic act of survival. This also applies to our health, to our children, to our family and friends, to our beloved, and the list carries on.
Many spiritual teachers and gurus have preached the significance of the Now and the importance of its application in our daily lives. This act is to be first carried out by becoming aware of the present moment.
Then, gradually, all that remains becomes to train oneself to continue living in the moment. With time, the formula becomes obvious — the more the Nows, the more sense of fulfilment in life. Of those who are most aware of the Now are the terminally ill who become alertly conscious of the importance of the present as each day could be their last. Their Now becomes exceedingly precious while the rest simply becomes trivial.
Uncertain future
Yet, an irony that must be taken into consideration here is that whether we are healthy or sick, the future is equally insecure and our tomorrows are never guaranteed — a most perplexing irony, indeed.
The art of meditation is one effective method of evoking the Now and inducing a state of consciousness of the present moment. It is with meditation that one is able to delve into the depths of her/his soul, and it is only at the depth that the ultimate sense of internal peace is attained. Tolle uses the lake as an example to better illustrate my point. He explains that when times are turbulent and storms approach, it is only the lake's surface that is affected by the external forces regardless of how vigorous they are, while the lake's bottom always remains calm and unperturbed.
In the same way, the closer one is to the depth of her/his beings, the less affected s/he is by external factors. And it is only by stillness, by physical and conscious awareness of the Now, that our depths are reached and a meaningful life is lived.
The saying "life is too short" happens to be a common thread that runs across all cultures. My father-in-law once paraphrased it in a most charming way when he quoted a few lines of an Arabic poem he once heard his mother reciting: Get up and dance ye girls and forget about sleep / for life is like the moon, and you'll never get your fill of it! So, let our focus be on the Now and savour life and dance our hearts out before it is too late!
Ghada Al Atrash holds a Master's degree in English.
Friday, June 10, 2011
gulfnews : Don't thank me for good deeds, just pay it forward#.TfG4m9Fw2aw;twitter#.TfG4m9Fw2aw;twitter
gulfnews : Don't thank me for good deeds, just pay it forward#.TfG4m9Fw2aw;twitter#.TfG4m9Fw2aw;twitter
As I was walked my son to his KG morning class a few days ago, I came across a young boy (about eight or nine) struggling to lift his heavy backpack up the stairs. With my free hand, I picked up his bag while he followed a few steps behind. Upon reaching the end of the staircase, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the boy had also decided to help carry a kindergarten pupil's bag just as I helped him!
The young boy's counter-gesture left me lost in thought for the remainder of the day and brought to mind the movie Pay it Forward, a production inspired by the national-bestseller novel by American author Catherine Ryan Hyde. For those unfamiliar with the phrase, ‘pay it forward' — it is an expression used in English to describe the concept of asking that a good deed be repaid by passing it forward instead of returning the favour, hence ‘pay forward' instead of ‘pay back.'
In Hyde's story, an 11-year- old boy, Trevor, is asked by his teacher to complete an assignment for a social studies class in which he is to devise and put into action a plan that would change the world for the better. Consequently, Trevor formulates a pyramid scheme in which he is to do a favour that helps someone and then tells that person not to pay him back, but to pay the favour forward to three other people, who in turn, each pay it forward to three more, and so on and so forth. Clearly, when one does the maths, the numbers proliferate rapidly!
More so than ever, there is an urgent need for such a message to be re-invented and acted upon. The concept is powerful and no doubt has revolutionary potential. And with the numerous social media tools available at our fingertips, we can spread our theory at an incredibly accelerated speed across borders in our humanity. We hear of all sorts of conspiracy theories that aim to destroy and kill humankind. Counteractively, let us also conspire; but how about we conspire against conspiracy theories, and bring together all of our acquaintances, colleagues, friends, teachers, students, and most importantly, our children to conspire against hatred, to help one another, to build and to heal.
Let the ball start rolling! We can begin with re-introducing the idiom ‘pay it forward' into our daily language, and perhaps substitute the conventional and worn-out replies to a ‘thank you' with ‘pay it forward.' In turn, each time we perform a favour for someone, we should reply to their thankful expressions with ‘pay it forward' and, more importantly, ask them to pass on the idea. We can plant the seeds of this concept within our families and social circles and at our schools and workplaces so that, with time, we can smell the fragrance of its flowers perfuming our world with goodness and love.
Vicious cycle
I have personally introduced this concept to my college students, and on multiple occasions I have received ‘pay it forward' as a reply to my ‘thank you.' Needless to say, the moment was priceless! It is imperative that we take immediate action as the vicious cycle of hatred is storming our humanity at a violently rapid pace and devouring everyone in its path, young and old. Its hatred gives birth to violence, and in turn, violence leads to pain and suffering, pain and suffering to revenge and revenge to violence once again. Regardless of religion, performing a good deed is preached by each prophet and by every religious leader.
In the Quran it is written: "The parable of those who spend their substance in the way of God is that of a grain of corn: it grows seven ears, and each ear has a hundred grains..." (Surat Al Baqara 261). The Old Testament of the Bible teaches: "A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed." (Proverbs 11:24-25). And, the New Testament preaches: "It is more blessed to give than to receive." (Acts 20:35).
Moreover, Buddha teaches: "The thought manifests as the word; the word manifests as the deed; the deed develops into habit and habit hardens into character; so watch the thought and its ways with care, and let it spring from love born out of concern for all beings as the shadow follows the body, as we think, so we become."
The opportunities for performing a good deed are countless. However, it is also essential that we do not confine our deeds to any geographical, social, or religious boundaries. Goodness must resurface in a world torn by manmade barriers. But efforts cannot stand alone — integrated joint action is needed to topple barriers, overcome hatred, sweep away suffering and alleviate pain. Eckhart Tolle says, "Awareness is the greatest agent for change" — so let us start today by spreading awareness of this revolutionary concept and by asking someone to pay our good deed forward.
As I was walked my son to his KG morning class a few days ago, I came across a young boy (about eight or nine) struggling to lift his heavy backpack up the stairs. With my free hand, I picked up his bag while he followed a few steps behind. Upon reaching the end of the staircase, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the boy had also decided to help carry a kindergarten pupil's bag just as I helped him!
The young boy's counter-gesture left me lost in thought for the remainder of the day and brought to mind the movie Pay it Forward, a production inspired by the national-bestseller novel by American author Catherine Ryan Hyde. For those unfamiliar with the phrase, ‘pay it forward' — it is an expression used in English to describe the concept of asking that a good deed be repaid by passing it forward instead of returning the favour, hence ‘pay forward' instead of ‘pay back.'
In Hyde's story, an 11-year- old boy, Trevor, is asked by his teacher to complete an assignment for a social studies class in which he is to devise and put into action a plan that would change the world for the better. Consequently, Trevor formulates a pyramid scheme in which he is to do a favour that helps someone and then tells that person not to pay him back, but to pay the favour forward to three other people, who in turn, each pay it forward to three more, and so on and so forth. Clearly, when one does the maths, the numbers proliferate rapidly!
More so than ever, there is an urgent need for such a message to be re-invented and acted upon. The concept is powerful and no doubt has revolutionary potential. And with the numerous social media tools available at our fingertips, we can spread our theory at an incredibly accelerated speed across borders in our humanity. We hear of all sorts of conspiracy theories that aim to destroy and kill humankind. Counteractively, let us also conspire; but how about we conspire against conspiracy theories, and bring together all of our acquaintances, colleagues, friends, teachers, students, and most importantly, our children to conspire against hatred, to help one another, to build and to heal.
Let the ball start rolling! We can begin with re-introducing the idiom ‘pay it forward' into our daily language, and perhaps substitute the conventional and worn-out replies to a ‘thank you' with ‘pay it forward.' In turn, each time we perform a favour for someone, we should reply to their thankful expressions with ‘pay it forward' and, more importantly, ask them to pass on the idea. We can plant the seeds of this concept within our families and social circles and at our schools and workplaces so that, with time, we can smell the fragrance of its flowers perfuming our world with goodness and love.
Vicious cycle
I have personally introduced this concept to my college students, and on multiple occasions I have received ‘pay it forward' as a reply to my ‘thank you.' Needless to say, the moment was priceless! It is imperative that we take immediate action as the vicious cycle of hatred is storming our humanity at a violently rapid pace and devouring everyone in its path, young and old. Its hatred gives birth to violence, and in turn, violence leads to pain and suffering, pain and suffering to revenge and revenge to violence once again. Regardless of religion, performing a good deed is preached by each prophet and by every religious leader.
In the Quran it is written: "The parable of those who spend their substance in the way of God is that of a grain of corn: it grows seven ears, and each ear has a hundred grains..." (Surat Al Baqara 261). The Old Testament of the Bible teaches: "A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed." (Proverbs 11:24-25). And, the New Testament preaches: "It is more blessed to give than to receive." (Acts 20:35).
Moreover, Buddha teaches: "The thought manifests as the word; the word manifests as the deed; the deed develops into habit and habit hardens into character; so watch the thought and its ways with care, and let it spring from love born out of concern for all beings as the shadow follows the body, as we think, so we become."
The opportunities for performing a good deed are countless. However, it is also essential that we do not confine our deeds to any geographical, social, or religious boundaries. Goodness must resurface in a world torn by manmade barriers. But efforts cannot stand alone — integrated joint action is needed to topple barriers, overcome hatred, sweep away suffering and alleviate pain. Eckhart Tolle says, "Awareness is the greatest agent for change" — so let us start today by spreading awareness of this revolutionary concept and by asking someone to pay our good deed forward.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
gulfnews : Rebooting Facebook generation
gulfnews : Rebooting Facebook generation
By Ghada Al Atrash Janbey
Special to Gulf News
Published: 00:01 May 20, 2011
It doesn't take a psychiatrist to note the narcissistic outbreak that has spread among Facebook users. I was quite struck by the apparent severity of this sickness as I sat next to my teenage daughter and skimmed through comments posted by her Facebook friends.
Needless to say, it was quite disturbing to observe how narcissistic an environment Facebook has become where narcissism is abysmally manifested in the utterly ridiculous photos and pointless comments of its juvenile users, ones whose only purpose is to inflate one another's egos, and more importantly, to find ways to inflate their own egos.
By no means is this phenomenon only confined to teenagers as many Facebook users of all ages seem to have been sucked into this narcissistic vacuum. But for the purposes of this article, let us especially focus our attention on today's younger generation that is severely afflicted with this alarmingly debilitating epidemic.
According to Greek mythology, a young man named Narcissus was a pathologically self-absorbed human who fell in love with his own reflection in a pool. Consequently, psychiatrists use the term ‘narcissistic personality disorder' when referring to people with an exaggerated sense of superiority who expect to be treated with admiration and reverence.
Affected people are characterised by an obsession to be admired. They further possess a strong sense of grandiosity and an exaggerated feeling of self-importance.
When applied to Facebook, many of the above-mentioned characteristics seem to be dominant among its users where a Facebook page becomes the narcissistic mirror that displays one's self-reflection and elicits the sought-out attention, recognition and admiration from others.
Granted, it is human nature to possess narcissistic traits. Many psychoanalysts believe that we all need a bit of ‘healthy' narcissism in our personalities which they define as a real sense of self-esteem and self-confidence. When based on true self-worth, these characteristics act as the driving forces towards innovation, success and achievement.
However, the case is different when it comes to Facebook. The younger generation has become obsessed with everything that has to do with the ‘self' and with drawing attention to it.
Millions of adolescents and college students spend, or rather waste, countless hours of their time posting meaningless comments with lots of ‘lols' and ‘smileys', remarking on each others' photos, liking futile statuses, joining one cause or another, following celebrities, poking, tagging, and so on and so forth.
Even more worrisome is the false sense of self-esteem that is being generated in the process. The more the comments and higher the number of friends, the grander is the feeling of self-importance! But as the elicited feedback is often false and undeserved, it fails to satisfy its users and leaves them empty with the need for more — sort of like the feeling of eating in one's dream! One of my female Emirati students who happens to work at the National Library in Abu Dhabi expressed her concern about how they seldom receive visitors at their main branch. She went on to state that most of the books on the shelves remained new and untouched, hopelessly and indefinitely collecting dust!
Parents' responsibility
The truth is that today's children are less educated, more self-centered, extremely preoccupied with superficiality, and are emptying their brains on to their Facebook screens! In the meantime, parents seem to be sitting back and watching as this incapacitating obsession is absorbing their brain cells and denying them the time to educate themselves. According to many surveys, students who use Facebook spend less time studying and consequently have lower averages than those who do not use Facebook.
Regrettably, the young generation is unprepared for the difficult times ahead. The world is becoming increasingly competitive, demanding highly-skilled and competent individuals. Children should be preparing themselves academically and developing their communication skills instead of spending their time on mere nonsense in front of a computer!
I strongly believe that the blame falls on us as parents and mentors. We need to find other avenues to busy our children with. Sports is an option, reading is another. Children could also be encouraged to volunteer, intern or take active part in an infinite number of causes.
As many psychologists advise, realising and admitting to the problem is half the battle won. Perhaps spreading awareness on a personal level, on a school level, and on a community level can create a state of alertness and consciousness that can help our children steer clear of being sucked into this vacuum.
Why not teach our children to use Facebook in a constructive way — by posting a critical thought, a meaningful song, a humanitarian message, an innovative idea, or a link to a good article?
Facebook is a powerful social media tool that can mobilise revolutions as seen in recent months — if only our children can also learn to use it in a way that can make a positive difference.
A Bob Dylan song goes You don't need a weather man to know which way the wind blows — I am afraid that, unless something is done to change the course of how things are going, the wind is bound to blow our future generation southwards, to a place void of education, innovation, or any sort of intellectual merit.
It is our responsibilities as parents, educators and mentors to help find a way out of an abyss that has left future generations dumbed-down, in a state of loss, and in desperate need of direction!
By Ghada Al Atrash Janbey
Special to Gulf News
Published: 00:01 May 20, 2011
It doesn't take a psychiatrist to note the narcissistic outbreak that has spread among Facebook users. I was quite struck by the apparent severity of this sickness as I sat next to my teenage daughter and skimmed through comments posted by her Facebook friends.
Needless to say, it was quite disturbing to observe how narcissistic an environment Facebook has become where narcissism is abysmally manifested in the utterly ridiculous photos and pointless comments of its juvenile users, ones whose only purpose is to inflate one another's egos, and more importantly, to find ways to inflate their own egos.
By no means is this phenomenon only confined to teenagers as many Facebook users of all ages seem to have been sucked into this narcissistic vacuum. But for the purposes of this article, let us especially focus our attention on today's younger generation that is severely afflicted with this alarmingly debilitating epidemic.
According to Greek mythology, a young man named Narcissus was a pathologically self-absorbed human who fell in love with his own reflection in a pool. Consequently, psychiatrists use the term ‘narcissistic personality disorder' when referring to people with an exaggerated sense of superiority who expect to be treated with admiration and reverence.
Affected people are characterised by an obsession to be admired. They further possess a strong sense of grandiosity and an exaggerated feeling of self-importance.
When applied to Facebook, many of the above-mentioned characteristics seem to be dominant among its users where a Facebook page becomes the narcissistic mirror that displays one's self-reflection and elicits the sought-out attention, recognition and admiration from others.
Granted, it is human nature to possess narcissistic traits. Many psychoanalysts believe that we all need a bit of ‘healthy' narcissism in our personalities which they define as a real sense of self-esteem and self-confidence. When based on true self-worth, these characteristics act as the driving forces towards innovation, success and achievement.
However, the case is different when it comes to Facebook. The younger generation has become obsessed with everything that has to do with the ‘self' and with drawing attention to it.
Millions of adolescents and college students spend, or rather waste, countless hours of their time posting meaningless comments with lots of ‘lols' and ‘smileys', remarking on each others' photos, liking futile statuses, joining one cause or another, following celebrities, poking, tagging, and so on and so forth.
Even more worrisome is the false sense of self-esteem that is being generated in the process. The more the comments and higher the number of friends, the grander is the feeling of self-importance! But as the elicited feedback is often false and undeserved, it fails to satisfy its users and leaves them empty with the need for more — sort of like the feeling of eating in one's dream! One of my female Emirati students who happens to work at the National Library in Abu Dhabi expressed her concern about how they seldom receive visitors at their main branch. She went on to state that most of the books on the shelves remained new and untouched, hopelessly and indefinitely collecting dust!
Parents' responsibility
The truth is that today's children are less educated, more self-centered, extremely preoccupied with superficiality, and are emptying their brains on to their Facebook screens! In the meantime, parents seem to be sitting back and watching as this incapacitating obsession is absorbing their brain cells and denying them the time to educate themselves. According to many surveys, students who use Facebook spend less time studying and consequently have lower averages than those who do not use Facebook.
Regrettably, the young generation is unprepared for the difficult times ahead. The world is becoming increasingly competitive, demanding highly-skilled and competent individuals. Children should be preparing themselves academically and developing their communication skills instead of spending their time on mere nonsense in front of a computer!
I strongly believe that the blame falls on us as parents and mentors. We need to find other avenues to busy our children with. Sports is an option, reading is another. Children could also be encouraged to volunteer, intern or take active part in an infinite number of causes.
As many psychologists advise, realising and admitting to the problem is half the battle won. Perhaps spreading awareness on a personal level, on a school level, and on a community level can create a state of alertness and consciousness that can help our children steer clear of being sucked into this vacuum.
Why not teach our children to use Facebook in a constructive way — by posting a critical thought, a meaningful song, a humanitarian message, an innovative idea, or a link to a good article?
Facebook is a powerful social media tool that can mobilise revolutions as seen in recent months — if only our children can also learn to use it in a way that can make a positive difference.
A Bob Dylan song goes You don't need a weather man to know which way the wind blows — I am afraid that, unless something is done to change the course of how things are going, the wind is bound to blow our future generation southwards, to a place void of education, innovation, or any sort of intellectual merit.
It is our responsibilities as parents, educators and mentors to help find a way out of an abyss that has left future generations dumbed-down, in a state of loss, and in desperate need of direction!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Another place like home
By Ghada Al Atrash Janbey, Special to Weekend Review
Published: 00:00 April 29, 2011
Lebanese-American poet Yousuf Abdul Samad's heart is split into two halves, one dwelling in the East and the other in the West. "I am made of a blend of the two worlds; when I am in one place, I always find myself longing for the other," the poet says.
Abdul Samad was born in the pinelands of Lebanon, in a beautiful green village named Ras Al Maten. In 1969 he left his country for New York City, seeking education and experience.
Ever since, he has been travelling back and forth between the two worlds and the story of his life happens to be engraved on the trunks of the oldest Lebanese pines trees and written on the walls of the tallest buildings in New York.
But Abdul Samad's travels were not only confined to the geographical boundaries drawn on the world map. The poet describes, with an unperturbed sense of calmness, how he has flown on the wings of poetry to spiritual worlds, to "secret hidden places of the soul" and to "the very bottom of things".
"Poetry awakens the deepest feelings in a human soul. Poetry is the language of the nightingales. It is the silence that is heard in the most profound discourse of nature. Poetry is the first rose we present to a beloved and the last we plant on the grave of the departed," he says.
Closer to pain
Yet the poet makes clear that poetry has also pulled his spirit down to the most wretched of places, in which the suffering and pain of humanity dwell. He recounts how, many a time, as the moments of pain became unbearable, he asked himself, "Why was I born a poet and not a shepherd for the sheep or a fig tree on whose branches the birds of the skies can build their nests?"
But whether transcendent or raw, Abdul Samad's feelings were continuously transformed into sensational poems. The poet has published five volumes of Arabic poetry, in which he has taken up a diverse range of topics, including politics, spirituality and love. He has dedicated many poems to the different women who have influenced his life — his mother, his wife, his daughters and his female friends and teachers.
"The most beautiful of existence is a woman. Mountains end in summits and oceans in depths but a woman has no end. A woman is the mother, the sister, the daughter, the wife and the lover," the poet says.
At present, Abdul Samad is working on the publication of his first English-translated collection of poems.
At the time of his arrival in the United States, Abdul Samad explains that there was a very wide gap between the East and the West, where there was "no connectedness and no bridges to connect the two civilisations".
He recounts his first encounter with the West. "I left Ras Al Maten carrying in my heart the warmth of my village, the greenness of the pines, the redness of the Mediterranean sunsets and the melodies of the nightingales. When I first arrived in the US, I was deafened by the loud noises of New York City, dizzied by its rapid pace and suffocated by its crowded buildings. I was a stranger amid strangers.
"At that time, many obstacles stood in the way of Arabs living in the US — an anti-Arab media in all its forms, the unresolved Arab-Israeli conflict and America's agenda behind it, and also the prevalent Orientalist discourse."
However, despite the obstacles planted in an Arab-American's path at the time, Abdul Samad, along with a group of other Arab-American intellectuals, joined hands and set off on a mission to build bridges between the two civilisations. They specifically concentrated on the realm of literature and arts, for, as put by the poet, "the West needed to be introduced to our stories and poems, ones that spoke of our human experience, and most importantly, ones that were told by native Arab voices and not narrated by Western reporters".
Hence, cultural meetings and social gatherings were held at universities and community venues, which helped in crossing cultural boundaries.
Also, in an effort to counter the West's negative discourse on Arabs, the New Pen League (NPL) was established in 2005 as a secular, non-political and non-profit organisation, with a mission to "express cultural literary and artworks of Arab-Americans in the United States".
The NPL was a modern attempt at revisiting and reviving the golden era of Kahlil Gibran of the early 1900s, in which the original Pen League was a source of identity and pride for every Arab living in the West.
Today Abdul Samad is the acting dean of the New Pen League.
In the past few years, the NPL has held a number of their annual celebrations at Miller's Theatre in Columbia University, where Arab heritage and civilisation were showcased through literature, songs, music and dance.
This year, on May 8, the NPL's annual activity will be held again at Columbia University in celebration of the 99th birthday of the Lebanese poet Saeed Akel. Another tradition initiated by the NPL is the planting of Lebanese cedar trees on Broadway (New York City's main avenue) dedicated to the likes of Kahlil Gibran and Edward Saeed.
The idea was first inspired in 2008 when a cedar tree was planted and dedicated to Abdul Samad by his own community in the US.
Taste of the East
In another realm, Abdul Samad happens to be the owner of many restaurants in New York City. "It all started when I realised I was able to touch the hearts of Westerners not only via their eyes and ears but also through their mouths!" he says light-heartedly. And it was on that note that he opened his first 40-square-metre falafel shop in 1971 in a neighbourhood adjacent to Columbia University, "at a time when the word falafel was rarely part of the American menu".
"But it was more than just a passion for cooking; it was about building an identity for Arabs in the West. Only a few years later, my tiny shop became a gathering place for Arab students, a haven in which they could reminisce about, smell and taste their homeland."
Abdul Samad's tiny shop has since fathered many other branches on Broadway, ones that were once described by the late Edward Saeed as "pieces of a homeland".
In the early Nineties, a photo of one of Abdul Samad's branches, Ameer Al Falafel, was hung in a museum of the city located on 105th Street and 5th Avenue as one of the "cultural marks" of New York City.
In 1995, Samad Deli (another of the branches) burnt down. The heavy-spirited poet arrived the next morning only to find roses and letters at the door of the deli and to later read in The New York Times issue of February 11, 1996: "Love letters are not what you expect to find taped to the front door of a waterlogged neighbourhood deli. But love letters are what you find stuck to the glass of Samad Deli, on Broadway between 111th and 112th streets, which has been shuttered since a fire shortly before New Year's Day."
http://gulfnews.com/life-style/culture/another-place-like-home-1.799415
Published: 00:00 April 29, 2011
Lebanese-American poet Yousuf Abdul Samad's heart is split into two halves, one dwelling in the East and the other in the West. "I am made of a blend of the two worlds; when I am in one place, I always find myself longing for the other," the poet says.
Abdul Samad was born in the pinelands of Lebanon, in a beautiful green village named Ras Al Maten. In 1969 he left his country for New York City, seeking education and experience.
Ever since, he has been travelling back and forth between the two worlds and the story of his life happens to be engraved on the trunks of the oldest Lebanese pines trees and written on the walls of the tallest buildings in New York.
But Abdul Samad's travels were not only confined to the geographical boundaries drawn on the world map. The poet describes, with an unperturbed sense of calmness, how he has flown on the wings of poetry to spiritual worlds, to "secret hidden places of the soul" and to "the very bottom of things".
"Poetry awakens the deepest feelings in a human soul. Poetry is the language of the nightingales. It is the silence that is heard in the most profound discourse of nature. Poetry is the first rose we present to a beloved and the last we plant on the grave of the departed," he says.
Closer to pain
Yet the poet makes clear that poetry has also pulled his spirit down to the most wretched of places, in which the suffering and pain of humanity dwell. He recounts how, many a time, as the moments of pain became unbearable, he asked himself, "Why was I born a poet and not a shepherd for the sheep or a fig tree on whose branches the birds of the skies can build their nests?"
But whether transcendent or raw, Abdul Samad's feelings were continuously transformed into sensational poems. The poet has published five volumes of Arabic poetry, in which he has taken up a diverse range of topics, including politics, spirituality and love. He has dedicated many poems to the different women who have influenced his life — his mother, his wife, his daughters and his female friends and teachers.
"The most beautiful of existence is a woman. Mountains end in summits and oceans in depths but a woman has no end. A woman is the mother, the sister, the daughter, the wife and the lover," the poet says.
At present, Abdul Samad is working on the publication of his first English-translated collection of poems.
At the time of his arrival in the United States, Abdul Samad explains that there was a very wide gap between the East and the West, where there was "no connectedness and no bridges to connect the two civilisations".
He recounts his first encounter with the West. "I left Ras Al Maten carrying in my heart the warmth of my village, the greenness of the pines, the redness of the Mediterranean sunsets and the melodies of the nightingales. When I first arrived in the US, I was deafened by the loud noises of New York City, dizzied by its rapid pace and suffocated by its crowded buildings. I was a stranger amid strangers.
"At that time, many obstacles stood in the way of Arabs living in the US — an anti-Arab media in all its forms, the unresolved Arab-Israeli conflict and America's agenda behind it, and also the prevalent Orientalist discourse."
However, despite the obstacles planted in an Arab-American's path at the time, Abdul Samad, along with a group of other Arab-American intellectuals, joined hands and set off on a mission to build bridges between the two civilisations. They specifically concentrated on the realm of literature and arts, for, as put by the poet, "the West needed to be introduced to our stories and poems, ones that spoke of our human experience, and most importantly, ones that were told by native Arab voices and not narrated by Western reporters".
Hence, cultural meetings and social gatherings were held at universities and community venues, which helped in crossing cultural boundaries.
Also, in an effort to counter the West's negative discourse on Arabs, the New Pen League (NPL) was established in 2005 as a secular, non-political and non-profit organisation, with a mission to "express cultural literary and artworks of Arab-Americans in the United States".
The NPL was a modern attempt at revisiting and reviving the golden era of Kahlil Gibran of the early 1900s, in which the original Pen League was a source of identity and pride for every Arab living in the West.
Today Abdul Samad is the acting dean of the New Pen League.
In the past few years, the NPL has held a number of their annual celebrations at Miller's Theatre in Columbia University, where Arab heritage and civilisation were showcased through literature, songs, music and dance.
This year, on May 8, the NPL's annual activity will be held again at Columbia University in celebration of the 99th birthday of the Lebanese poet Saeed Akel. Another tradition initiated by the NPL is the planting of Lebanese cedar trees on Broadway (New York City's main avenue) dedicated to the likes of Kahlil Gibran and Edward Saeed.
The idea was first inspired in 2008 when a cedar tree was planted and dedicated to Abdul Samad by his own community in the US.
Taste of the East
In another realm, Abdul Samad happens to be the owner of many restaurants in New York City. "It all started when I realised I was able to touch the hearts of Westerners not only via their eyes and ears but also through their mouths!" he says light-heartedly. And it was on that note that he opened his first 40-square-metre falafel shop in 1971 in a neighbourhood adjacent to Columbia University, "at a time when the word falafel was rarely part of the American menu".
"But it was more than just a passion for cooking; it was about building an identity for Arabs in the West. Only a few years later, my tiny shop became a gathering place for Arab students, a haven in which they could reminisce about, smell and taste their homeland."
Abdul Samad's tiny shop has since fathered many other branches on Broadway, ones that were once described by the late Edward Saeed as "pieces of a homeland".
In the early Nineties, a photo of one of Abdul Samad's branches, Ameer Al Falafel, was hung in a museum of the city located on 105th Street and 5th Avenue as one of the "cultural marks" of New York City.
In 1995, Samad Deli (another of the branches) burnt down. The heavy-spirited poet arrived the next morning only to find roses and letters at the door of the deli and to later read in The New York Times issue of February 11, 1996: "Love letters are not what you expect to find taped to the front door of a waterlogged neighbourhood deli. But love letters are what you find stuck to the glass of Samad Deli, on Broadway between 111th and 112th streets, which has been shuttered since a fire shortly before New Year's Day."
http://gulfnews.com/life-style/culture/another-place-like-home-1.799415
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
